subordinacy | week 4 ( monday )

[that actually gets Akira to grin]

Neither was I.

[he relates]

I bet sneaking out helped expand your worldview, though.

... Well, I couldn't explore too much. I would've been in grave danger if I actually encountered any humans, as red eyes, where I'm from, only belong to "monsters". They would've given me away.

Looking back on it now, I was very lucky that the only human I met was a boy my age.

Obviously, the humans from that world haven't seen real monsters.

[Setz is the furthest thing from a monster in Akira's eyes]

Tell me about him?

[He blinks, a little surprised by the comment—but he appreciates it.]

... The first thing you should probably know is... [How to start this.] He had red eyes, despite being a human. The reasons why are pretty complicated, so I won't get into that, but they meant he was ostracized by those around him.

So we... became friends quickly. [Because they both had no one else.] But then he was going to be sent to an orphanage, and we were worried about being separated, so I...

[Ugh, this sounds worse when he recounts it as a teenager.]

I brought him to my world—the world of vampires. [He cringes a tad.] Which I suppose was a rather drastic move, but... I was six.

[All he'd cared about then was not losing his first and only friend.]

[. . . and of course, a six year old would make a decision like that, faced with the possibility of losing their one and only friend. Akira empathizes; he's experienced crushing loneliness himself, after all. that part of the story-- the parts Setz doesn't mention directly, but heavily implies-- he understands]

[but he feels like this doesn't have a very happy ending]

What happened after you brought him to your world?

[...]

The location of the portal... it was by my family's vacation home. Our actual home was in an entirely different region altogether.

[And for a long moment, he doesn't say anything. There's a lot of thoughts going through his mind right now, but... well, best to stick with story.]

... As soon as I got back, we were to return to the main estate that instant, on my father's orders. [And at that time, his father's word was absolute law.] I had to leave Lark—my friend—behind. I made sure he was with someone I knew would take care of him, but...

[He closes his eyes, briefly, as he lets out a sigh.]

He'd tripped and knocked himself out towards the end of the journey to my world, actually. I don't know what he thought, waking up to find that the person who'd brought him there had abandoned him, leaving him in an unknown world with a stranger.

[Setz's first major misstep in life; his first major regret.]

[. . . oh. Akira can't speak for Lark at all, but he can imagine. . . a six-year-old child being terrified to wake up in an unknown world, with a complete and utter stranger, the one familiar thing that brought him there having vanished into thin air]

Did you ever see him again after that?

... Ten years later, when he was sent to the same school I attended.

[There's a sort of flatness in Setz's voice that suggests this was not a happy reunion.]

[oh dear. Akira's next question may not be necessary]

Did he recognize you?

Yes. Appearance-wise, I hadn't exactly changed much.

[Everything else, though?]

Ah. . .

He was pretty upset with you, then.

[that's not hard to surmise]

... I wouldn't say upset. For the most part, I think he just... wanted to pretend that I didn't exist. Not that I could blame him...

But... he'd been happy. [So much he'd forgotten all about Setz, whom he didn't need.] I guess that was why he didn't hate me for it.

[And though a part of Setz curses the world, that he hadn't been able to be a part of that life—that happy childhood—he's glad he could give Lark that much.]

[it's good to hear that Lark had at least that much. but. . .?]

Were you two ever able to make up?

It's been... difficult, but yes.

[Though there's an odd note in his voice when he says that.]

[he's picking up on it]

But. . .?

[...]

He's my entry fee. My feelings about him, that is.

[Yeah.]

[oh]

Shit.

[the curse is hissed between clenched teeth, as Akira immediately feels something boiling in his stomach. something hot and fiery and acidic, and oh-so angry]

I'm sorry.

[entry fees suck. he remembers what his was like, during the first Game in which he participated. the loss of family. the loss of a place to belong. it had sent him reeling without purchase, like a ship lost at sea with no anchor]

[but it's even worse here, isn't it? since entry fees were taken without informing the Players of what they were. that makes it even shittier than usual]

It's all right.

[...]

In a way, it's my advantage. [It hasn't been pleasant, fighting through this Game absent his main reason to live, but—] ... What's keeping me going now are my partner, spite, and...

[Well.]

To be frank, I might not even deserve a second chance. I wasted my first. And, on top of that, I wasn't a particularly good person while alive. But that's why I'm moving forward now—because as long as there's life, there's the opportunity to do better.

If that's all I have, I won't let this Game take it from me.

[So he'll fight with everything he has, and he won't let this Game turn him into someone he doesn't want to be. If it ever does, then at that point, he'll have lost everything.]

[heh. that resolve? he admires that resolve]

And this Game-- no mater how bad it is-- can't take from you what you refuse to give.

[and this sort of determination and growth. . . isn't that what the Game is supposed to be about?]

... Yeah. I've seen enough people who used their grief as an excuse to lash out—I refuse to follow in their footsteps. In this Game, or back home.

[. . .]

Yeah.

[Setz accidentally hit on something pretty personal to Akira here, actually. not that he knows it. but it's okay; he's quick to explain]

I've seen people like that, too. One of them was actually the person who killed me.

[wry]

... Can I ask about that? You told me about it before, but that was back when...

[He didn't realize Akira was a Reaper, in which case everything he said about going back to protect his friends no longer quite makes sense.]

[oh]

[. . .]

I was actually being pretty truthful about what I said to you before. I do want to go back them. It's just. . . ah, well. They aren't in the same amount of active danger as I implied.

[soooo the context was. . . a bit off. a bit different]

I really was killed by a traitor the first time. [his hand rises, fingers brushing against his forehead] The only difference is that afterwards, I woke up in the UG of my Tokyo, to participate in another one of these Games.

I won, and managed to go back home to fix what I had done wrong. But just because I did that doesn't mean I don't want to return to my team now.

[his battle with Goro Akechi might be over, but his thieves are still his thieves. and he will always want to return home to protect them, even if they're no longer in active danger]

Edited 2018-04-11 00:10 (UTC)

... Of course. They're your friends, after all.

[And another time, had his fee not been taken, he would've been able to empathize. Still, he hopes dearly for Akira's sake that he'll be able to do just that.]

[while Akira hopes for the day Setz's feelings about Lark and his friends are returned to him, so he can return home both a better person and completely whole. just as Players who win the Game should be]

You know-- [he hums, light and almost playful] I never told you this.

But we're a band of thieves, you know? Phantom thieves. We steal the hearts of the corrupt and the wicked.

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